I have to start by saying that Dyan Reaveley
is brilliant. I've never seen her before her Dylusions Ink Spray 101 video
. I'm blown away.
- First, she has a lovely accent. I could listen all day, really. Lilting, fun. Maybe I can use her voice as inspiration for one of my puppet's voices. Oooo
- Second, she dresses in fun clothing and eyewear.
- Third, she uses her prepared material beautifully.
- Fourth, she adlibs and thinks on her feet while teaching you in her videos. She allows herself the space of new discovery and sharing that directly with her viewer as she discovers it. And then she's silly about it!
- Fifth, you get to learn in fine detail more than 5 different ways to achieve background and stamping, and varigated looks.
I bought one of these ink spray pads to augment my wee dylusions spray collection not knowing exactly how I'd put it into action. But I tell you what, this girl is Ex-CITE-ED!
Turn of the century Pacific Northwest Architecture is my muse for the November Moon Little Alters Exchange. I enjoy studying & observing architecture. Even took the architectural walk through downtown Seattle, thanks to Peg, with the former PMC Guild. I'm always inspired by how artistic each angle is and how photogenic buildings are.
There are a few buildings in Tacoma that are rusting and abandoned, like Mater. But you know they once had a glory day. Much was established in Tacoma during the late 1800's and turn of the century
. Fortunately, many buildings have been renovated or kept up at least somewhat. But others like the B.P.O.E. building sit rusted, empty, and quietly waiting for someone like McMenamins
to bring it back to life, which they are in late 2014, so that people may again fill it's halls and make new memories for the walls and celings to relive at night when everyone is asleep in their beds.
B.P.O.E. Building in 2013. A Bit rusty, but waiting for McMenamins to spruce it up. Photo by Gwen Gyldenege Copyright (c) 2013 all rights reserved.
The B.P.O.E. Elk Inspires My Vision
On the front of the building is a bust of an Elk, to represent the Elk's Lodge. It is from about the collar bone up. Like your typical stuffed trophy piece. I saw this one day, after having seen it many times before and suddenly had a vision of what to make. I love it when the universe speaks to me in visions and songs!
I saw a buck, much like the Patronus that Harry Potter casts in The Prisoner of Azkaban
. Silver and leaping straight out of the alter piece right at the viewer. A night scene, with a moon and stars and teal colors.
My First ...
There were many firsts in this for me. My first time sculpting a 4-legged animal in an action pose. My first time ever sculpting a deer or even antlers. My first time creating a cantilevered object. In this case, cantilevered means a sculpture or component of the alter piece that sticks out at a right angle from the flat 2-D surface and if not secured properly with the right glues, screws, or a really tight fitting background wil cause the entire piece including the delicate deer sculpture to tumble and fall out. Boo to the falling out. Yay for a new challenge. Oh the engineering side of my mind gets to engage in this humble art project. Oh boy. I hope the artist on my right shoulder and engineer on my left don't clash like the devil & angel cartoons.
Sculpting the Deer / Buck
I figured the best place to start is to see if I could make a realistic looking half deer. See with it leaping out, no need for the butt end. Focus on the front half, belly up. From the 3 photos above, you can see that I have 2 sculptures. Paper Clay, 1st Attempt
The white sculpture is my first attempt, which was done in paper clay. I did not start with enough foil for the body and head. Thus, it is quite heavy. Too heavy. And all the pieces I added (feet, head, etc) as separate while doing the original sculpture, detached themselves during the drying process. Hmm... let me try something different, a bit lighter and more apt to adheare to itself. Polymer Clay, 2nd Attempt
The grey/silver buck is my 2nd attempt. I reduced the overall size by eyeballing it, made a wire frame again and sculpted this time in polymer. Better to start with the color I wanted in case I ran out of energy (been unwell lately). My polymer didn't quite cover all the wire, but I baked it anyway. Let's see how it turns out baked up, I thought. Out of the oven and it still looked great. Thanks to the wires I added for structure, nothing shifted, bent or oozed during baking - it came out pretty great. It looked like real buck and I could still add more clay and re-bake if I wanted to augment more. Good, good. I'm learning to take a step, evaluate, then take the next step instead of trying to do all the steps in one fell swoop. Whew. Crisis and stress averted.
Attaching the Damn Thing
Feeling pretty pleased with myself, I made a background and then began to think about how it needed to attach to the background. In retrospect, it would have been smoother for the overall creation if I had the idea for attachment before I did the first baking, but that was something I couldn't work out at the time. So instead of stressing, I just made the deer without attachment points. I rolled several attachment schemes around in my head:
- Screws from the back of the type drawer - through the wood and very permanent - into the polymer (screw heads would be on the back of the drawer)
- Glue on both [deer:background] and [background:type drawer]
- Brads of a sort
- Adding something with polymer clay to the belly of the deer
Finally, thanks to a suggestion, during brainstorming, from Peg, a coil with the ends used as brads attached with more polymer was used. Really easy to make, really easy to add. And thanks to the heavy wire, the 2 attachment points make some heavy duty brads and there's no sagging of the deer body. SWEET!
I cut several layers of cardboard to match the full size of the 2-7/8" x 3-1/4" space, plus several strips of cardboard 1/4" x 3-1/4" for top and bottom so I could build a space up for the brads to hang out in without making the background lumpy.
Dylsioning The Background
The background is made of watercolor paper which sprayed with Dylusions Inks
and then created images with alcohol inks. It came from a sheet that looked like a night hillside. But wonder of wonders, that big ol spot, created by the splatting of Dylusions spray
being too close to the paper, actually resembles more of a cloud in the sky than a blobby spot. Dabble on some glitter glue to make the shining stars and voila. Simple night sky. Final Touch-Ups with Acrylic Paint on Baked Polymer
After researching what others have said about what paints and such to use on polymer:
The main thing I learned is to not use sharpies (oh! didn't know.) and instead to get some acrylic paint pens which do come in fairly fine tips. I stopped by my local art supply store and got silver, black, pink, and white. Used the white for eyeballs, pink for the cheeks and nose, silver to actually coat the body like a layer of paint, except I spread it around with my finger so it looked a bit more rough, and last the black for the iris of the eye, smile and the cracks round the hoofs and creases between body and legs.
I'm really thrilled with the way he turned out. He even matches peg's luna moth's (above) while still standing, or leaping rather, on his own.
You may know him as contributing editor for Threads magazine
, or FIT instructor, or better yet from his gorgeous courtier designs. It's Kenneth D. King!!
Ryliss of Sewing & Design School brought Kenneth to Tacoma to teach us how to draft our moulage and sleeve as she believes he is the best drafter in the business. What a treat!
Kenneth explaining the process of creating princess seams. Photo courtesy of Ryliss Bod.
The entry to Opera Alley, where you enter Sewing & Design School. Photo by Gwen Gyldenege (c) 2013. All rights reserved.
I decided to take the class not only to augment the dress form I made in Jan Bones class, but also because I do enjoy drafting and I rarely have had or made the opportunity to draft save for in creating my own sewing patterns.
You see, by the time I entered my first career field, Mechanical Engineering, it's drafting was all done entirely on a computer through a CAD program or in some other program to create parts on 3-D printer. The paper, rulers and pencils went to the wayside for ME's, but we didn't let those awesome drafting tables go to waste - In our study room, we used the drafting tables for doing our homework and creating fond memories of silliness.
Years ago, I drafted skirt patterns with Cecilia Podolak
(a simply lovely lady and instructor) at Haberman's Fabrics
(A MUST go visit!). It was fun and I wanted more, but haven't drafted since. So, when Kenneth's class came up in Tacoma, I was determined to attend. I even sold off a bunch of my coveted club and hard-to-find fiber & yarn stash to pay for the class. Now that's dedication! And it was worth it.
Part of the class was hard because I haven't been feeling well. So, naturally I was hard on myself, shy, and wanted to hide. Yes, I was shy. It happens more than you'd realize. And the other parts of the class, the people, Kenneth, the finished moulage, were very fun. I met amazing people and made fast friends with several in the class. What a pleasure to be around such sharp and interested sewing minds.
The 2013 Moulage class is hard at Work. I'm right in the middle with my African Inspired skirt. Photo Courtesy of Ryliss Bod, Tacoma Sewing & Design School.
The moulage is the foundation of the couture pattern drafting system taught by the Ecole Guerre-Lavigne in Paris. This is a system of measuring the figure, calculating, and drafting a pattern that will fit the torso like a second skin, incorporating any of the infinite variations of shape the human figure can take. -- Kenneth D. King' s Website
Kenneth explains drafting the front of the moulage. Photo courtesy of Ryliss Bod, Tacoma Sewing & Design School.
I learned quite a lot from Kenneth and really enjoyed the later parts of the class when he shared a few pattern drafting tips on how to make things like Juliet sleeves and such. That point, where you connect the dots and see how point A takes you to point B and now you have a tool that you can do ANYTHING with, is when I really "get" the value of a basic or a fundamental lesson. I've always wanted to sew myself a dress or top with Juliet sleeves and now I know that I can make one that will totally fit ME! :D
We also had time to get to know Kenneth at a dinner one evening and between bits in classes. Quite a funny man. He has loads of entertaining stories and loves to chat with his students while helping them learn. It made the 4 consecutive days of class fun and go by quickly.
Kenneth & Leah posing. Photo courtesy of Ryliss Bod, Tacoma Sewing & Design School.
I learned about Michele Theberge
's video on the proper acrylic base for your painting after my Mom shared Donna Downey
's post. This was really eye opening.
Michelle is a good video instructor. Her canter is the right speed, her prepared canvases and written items make the video go super smoothly and allow you to focus on the subject she's teaching.
I can't wait to play with airbrush medium
or acrylics on watercolor paper for my next altar piece. Whee!
Have you ever watched a high-end designer's process start to finish? One of Christian Dior's is documented in the video I'm sharing with you below. Thanks to Brooke of Custom Style
for sharing it.
What things strike me the most about this:
1. Look at just how many people are involved in making this. I'd figure ~ 10 or more people have a hand in this dress.
- Does that explain the cost? Yes! Absolutely!
- As an independent sewer, that is also so freeing. Well jeez! I don't have to feel bad about taking a while, taking my time, to make a dress or any piece of clothing. Relief washes over.
2. The use of older, tried & true methods are still alive and used.
- This is SO wonderful (cup runneth over feeling for me). The pleating! The
embroidery (did you see that rough old frame? Still good dammit!)
3. The design houses have to do the same thing I do when I sew - use pins, cut it all out, rough cut, then trim down, fit and adjust as needed... etc. etc.
- They wha? They use pins? They have to hand thread before cutting? Oh, I guess we
all have to go through the same process. Whoa. Duuuuuuuude. And we find common
ground. I'm shocked that I'm shocked. I guess I figured they had fancy tools or it
took them less time or ... fewer people? Did this shock you too?
Now I want to go tour and learn from the embroiderer and the pleating house. I've only ever seen pleated fabric in it's paper, never the process. If I could just get my hands on some. Wouldn't it be fun to actually do some of the pleating? Does anyone know of a pleating house around Seattle or Portland?
As with any recovery, its important to recognize the behavior we want to correct as its happening. So I catch myself becoming disproportionately dissatisfied with a wobbly ardha chandrasana or a toppling titibasana. I stop and breathe and remind myself that my inner spark of divine light is pure and unwavering, even when my postures or life circumstances are not.
-- Excerpt from Discover Your Sacred Self on MyYogaOnline.com by Alisha Vasquez
photo by Gwen Gyldenege (c) 2013 all rights reserved.
I joined MyYogaOnline this month to see what it would be like taking online yoga classes from a variety of teachers all over the world. I regularly get a newsletter from the site with links to videos and articles.
This morning I clicked on "Discover your Sacred Self" by Alisha Vasquez and was profoundly hit smack dab in the gobstopper by the quote above. I've wobbled a lot lately and I'm just working on surrendering.
See, I prefer to be in control of my destiny and situations and am gifted with the ability to see the bigger picture (when I don't get in my own way) and am a change agent like a Mary Poppins of a sort.
But, when I wobble, I begin to doubt and then become my own worst enemy. How much more fluid and wonderful would living, learning and making mistakes be if remembered that my divine light never, ever wavers?
Pratt Fine Arts Center held their 3x2 Redux again this year and Peg Gyldenege
, metal smith, glass artist and my all around amazing mother
had her name tossed in for joining. I was lucky and got to tag along with her to the initial meeting. WOW! It was such a joy to be in the presence of so many talented artists. I don't work in glass or metal, so it's quite fun to appreciate and observe those who do.
The 3x2 Redux Pratt
is hosting is where 2 artists - one a metalsmith, one a glass artist - collaborate to create 3 pieces. Then, one of the pieces will tour 2 galleries and 1 museum before coming home, that is if they don't sell along the way! The tour is set for the following 3 destinations:
Peg Gyldenege, Metalsmith, and Leslie Goldstein, Glass Artist, are paired up for collaboration on 3 Jewelry Pieces by 2 artists at Pratt's 2013 3x2 Redux
At the initial meeting, the glass artists brought their work to show. 40 glass artists and 40 metalsmiths got paired up and boy did the volume leap up to 11 and the creative juices began to flow. It was exciting just to be there, even if I wasn't a participant.
Leslie enthusiastically explains one of her designs to Peg.
were paired early in the process that night and got started immediately. Leslie
is a friendly and excited person, very fun to be around. And I knew Peg was giddy just by watching her interactions. Peg
brought her work and after being paired with Leslie
, got it out to show so they could both get excited and generate collaborative ideas over the others creations. Leslie even wore her Oregon Ducks colors in the form of her glass bead artwork. Check out the necklace she made in the photo at the top.
Glass Art by Leslie Goldstein (all rights reserved) Metalwork and Mixed Media by Peg Gyldenege (all rights reserved)
Have fun playing & creating girls! I can't wait to see what you create!
In August I started my muslin for the Colette Parfait pattern. I wasn't sure I'd really look good in this, but after making all my pattern adjustments to fit my body using the Jan Bones Papertape Dressform
, I'm thrilled and sure it's a perfectly cute style for me, except for the pockets. Do you ever change or remove the pockets on a dress?
I put the Parfait tissue pattern on the form and saw that I probably needed to make a full bust adjustment. But, I felt it wiser to cut the original pattern in a muslin for just the waist & bust pieces and adjust from there.
Below, you'll see I have odd wrinkles just under the bust toward the sides. I folded that out,then looked at where the gathered line hit my bust. Having an underbust line hit at mid or low, but not under the bust is a pet peeve of mine. It's like, "Hey, look, I'm wearing something that doesn't fit me and is made for someone with a smaller bust."
So, adjust the bust I must! Full Bust Adjustment (FBA), here I come!
I started by slicing & dicing. But, as I looked at the piece, it added more to the sides where I had just folded out ~ 1" of fabric. Well, that won't do. Hmm, think, think, think. Voila! I can just gamble, do what is "not to be done" and add seam allowance to the pattern edge where I need it. Why is that a "no. no."? Because typically it alters the pattern lines, mating edges and in some cases the grain. But, you know what?! It actually worked. Adding an inch to the underbust did it. I have a few more gathers than anticipated, but it's perfectly full and just what I wanted.
I'd like you to note that last bit: Doing the Taboo, lengthening a seam instead of doing the accepted FBA, worked out to be Just What I Wanted.
I've spent lots of time trying to do the right thing, but am just now giving myself permission to explore with the possibility of success or failure. This might not have worked, but because it did and because I tried something taboo, I learned, made it fit and could move on! WOOT!
Then, I got brave and cut the whole damn thing out of my long adored and stashed apple fabric. Even after I did the FBA, I put the pieces back on the form to check fit. The form showed I needed different darts than the pattern called for in the back. So, I modified them. The sides didn't line up as I wanted and the front waist line swings forward in a weird way (I'll add more to that bottom front edge next time). But, I got all the pieces to fit and line up. I'm glad I did this because they don't match up straight. Some are more like darts as you sew up side seams.
This has been so educational. I'm just trusting that the form fits and that no matter what shape I'm sewing, be it odd dart shapes with the side seams, that it will fit and fit well.
At last! At long last, this November, pre-Veterans Day weekend I made huge amounts of progress on my Apple Parfait. I'm totally in love wih the final results. I'm super glad I trusted my dress form, instincts, and took my time finishing. I'm still tweaking as I go, but that feels comfortable to me. I may make more mistakes, but I'm learning as I go without wasting, and that is very important.
Now to the pockets. I adored the pattern to begin with, pockets and all on the models and other sewists. But, as I put them on the dress, it goes from glamorous with a fun, kitschy (but not over the top) twist to hokey, cliche, and very jumper esque. I thought maybe it was the red on the pockets, but it's actually the gathered pockets. I feel like I have a second bust at my waist like some sort of strange alien. Well, if I'm feeling that way now, likely not to change. Having the pockets at a lower or their actual drafted level tends to over emphasize my ultra round rump-us (fanny).
The smooth, sleek look of the front seems just too compromised for my body and taste. Usually, I choose flat pockets that blend into the seams or panels so that they seem a natural part of the dress. It's hard to give up a place to store goodies like gemstones, but for the best, most flattering look, I think it necessary.
However, thanks to my awesome Instagram community, the feedback is "All Systems Go!" on the pockets. Or as @TarotandTea so aptly put it, "Pocketses Precious." Hmm... maybe I should reconsider. It is 6:1 in the votes so far.
Hope to post some photos of me wearing it soon as I finish the hem and the facings. I'm in love!
Skeletons, skeletons, skeletons! I love to draw cartoon skeletons doing funny things!! Are you inspired by day of the dead? By Halloween? And by silly skeletons? Ooo, ooo, I am! And that’s just what I ended up making this moon for the Little Alters project.
Kimberly Kostal is the recipient and I know how much she loves skeletons. In fact, last moon, she tried to make one for the alter for me, but got stuck. So, I was excited when inspiration began to strike. Little did I know, I’d hit some rough patches that would hold me back and delay my progress.
Below is the quick sketch I did of the skeleton I planned to create. I thought I'd be making a bah relief (think embossed or carved effect). But, my body and the universe had other plans and my idea totally changed. Or so I thought.
Do you find that when Halloween and Dia De Los Muertos time comes, you feel like the world has slowed to a near halt? This year I feel more in tune with the natural world. This means that my life is naturally turning introspective, the same way the earth is quieting for winter, and creating art is not as easy as other times of the year.
I’ve had ups and downs in health for much longer than I’d like now and am back on track to healing. But, sometimes, we need to pause and listen to our body, then change course. I’m learning to listen and honor the message, no matter how hard it is to hear. Spending time on health that I normally spend doing other things means less of those other things for now, including art.
After realizing I was going to attempt an art technique, the bah relief with paper clay, that I had never done, nor had any experience with (read neither failure or successes), I finally had to come to terms. I don’t like to work on techniques while on a deadline. I prefer to have tried, failed, succeeded, learned, and know how to do a technique before I attempt it under deadline. Otherwise, I’m a stressed out basket case. Not that bad really, but puts undue stress on my art and life and I need less right now.
I have tried techniques under pressure and time crunches and it can be very educational and huge inventions/breakthroughs can occur, but I’d rather save that for a different time/place than the alter project. You’d think one month was plenty of time. But for some reason, right now, my brain & emotional well being just need a bit less stress. So, I’m purposefully acknowledging and choosing the less stressful route. In future, I will try new techniques under deadline and will plan for it be a fun and enjoyable route. I've learned that planning helps make the journey fun and if you anticipate there will be unexpected turns, it is much more manageable.
Why not just draw & paint? Well, silly me, I thought that wouldn't be "enough". It wasn't grand enough, complex enough, blah blah - shut up critic in my head. Back to drawing I went. I found some ATC sized vellum / marker papers (heavier than cardstock) and re drew the original sketch. It's more fun to sketch an idea over an over (without expecting it to be exactly the same), because you begin to see what elements you consistently emphasize or remember.
After sketching Mr. Skelly Pants - who is actually a bit of a steampunk observer (he says, "Hmmm, yes... what is that I see" with the voice of a hefty walrus) - I grabbed all my water soluable crayons, pencils, and pastels and went to town coloring. Ooo boy, coloring between the lines! That was fun! You'll notice that I gave the feather a ton of color, but in the end it was a shiny purple. That was NOT on purpose. I was faking my way through, trying to to see what would happen. I think nicely though, the colors do come through a little and give the feathers and cap more depth.
After I watered it all down, it needed more still. I know! Twinkle H2O's! So, I painted the sky, the hat & feather, and a few other adornments in the wonderfully sparklie Twinkle H2O's. Now I'm really in LOVE!
Just above you'll see a miniature version of one of my skeleton designs that I carved into a stamp. I reduced it 50% and recarved it to create the one you see above left. But, it just didn't excite me for this month or on the mini canvas with paint above. Meh. And I was really diggin the water colors.
The down side of canvas was that it was just a smidge too thick to fit into the space. Oh I can fix that! With a blade, I went to town cutting off the folded corners of the canvas. Dangerous? Yes. Because the canvas could peel away over time. Washi tape to the rescue! Round the edges and 2 pull handles so the piece could be inserted into it's slot on the printer drawer and then easily removed. Grab a couple of bits of secure glue and mount that mini painting to it's canvas style frame. Voila!
Looking back at him now, I think he definitely has the dancing feel of the silly skeletons above, don't you?
Jeff Shuey, a friend of mine, wrote a really interesting and brief blog post called,
I encourage you to read it first because this post is my response. I love it when conversations like this get started. :) Don't you?
Based on how I'm interpreting Jeff's words, I think an even more applicable title would be, "To Affect Change, Everyone Needs to Be Heard".
I'll give you a setting to work with for my example.
Let's say you're in a meeting at work (could be 2 people or 15+ people). The organizer or designated presenter is presenting an idea for how to move forward on a project. Let's also say that the point of the meeting is to have other departments buy in to the change. But, along the way, someone comes up with a modification to the proposed change and they present it during the meeting.
Have you ever watched what people do as consensus and the adoption or resistance of the new idea occurs? The person presenting has already adopted the idea. They're on-board and now they're trying to get others on-board because of the benefits they see. Could be to the company, could be to their department or own end, could be because it will make them look good to their boss, or could be because they see it will benefit everyone in the long run. But, now the rest of the the attendees have to go through the adoption/consensus process.
In my experience, every person has to adopt or reject the idea.
Some can do that in the meeting if they feel they have enough information to decide.
Others may need to have a conversation with someone else (their boss or team) and they may resist the change.
Still others may see the inherent value or think that the change will make them look good and are ready to jump on board.
Whoa. Stop the train right there!!!
If you're the one trying to convince other people why your idea has value to them, this part of the process can be excruciating. Trust me, I know it well. I've found myself thinking, "What?! It has to be their idea? You mean I have to wait? Oh geez. Don't they get it? I already explained it. I told them it's good. I ... blah blah blah."
Wah! Cry me a river.
Now get over yourself and start thinking about everyone else because it's no longer about you, or the fact that it's your idea. If you want people to adopt it that is. (yes, that is also directed at myself when I would act the victim) And I'm not saying that you should give away credit. That's a different topic all together. How important is it to you to have people adopt this change or idea?
Part of the adoption process means people
try on the idea and then make it their idea.
The adoption process that each person has is usually to restate the idea in their own words, then they need to see that others are agreeing with them. It's as though every person has to make the idea their own. It's a fascinating phenomenon. One I have observed nearly every time a new idea or path or change is presented. If each person does not go through this process at some point in the meeting, either by active choice or by resisting be it active or passive, then usually consensus does not occur. Some people may not need to speak the idea, they may write it out or think it over, but everyone must try it on and adopt it. To that end, once they adpot it, everyone must be "heard" when they restate the idea as their own. It amazes me that with as many different kinds of people in a meeting, the majority of people have to verbalize the idea in usually the same words as the presenter.
If you're a fast thinker or in the "already convinced for or against" camps, then watching this process can be painful and feel like a huge waste of time. But, it's actually quite important if you want the change to take hold, root, and grow. As the presenter of the new idea or even one of the adoptees, you also have to be prepared that the idea may evolve and change to suit the people it affects.
So, now let's say that you or the presenter are meeting resistance to the idea. This is where we insert some of Jeff's suggestions.
- What is the tone of your voice?
- Have you really listened to them first rather than try to convince them of your idea?
I'd like to add a few more points to Jeff's suggestions
. This next question I discovered by watching people adopt ideas in meetings.How do they try on new ideas and adopt them?
Have you considered how busy they are or what stresses they are under? (Empathy)What motivates the person? (This
- By talking them out?
- By writing them down?
- By getting approval?
- By having time to think them over?
I learned through the Personal Mastery
workshop I took last month.)
Will they perceive this change as a waste of time? If so, how are you appealing to their goals and motivations?
- Having all the data?
- Looking good?
- Being in Control?
- Being Appreciated?
In essence, have you considered that maybe you are presenting all from the perspective of "What's in it for you, the presenter"? Instead, think about their needs and start your pitch out with What's in it for THEM. Also known as WIFM, (Wiff 'em) As Nancy McSharry-Jensen taught me.
Thou Shalt Adopt My Good Idea!!!!!!!! RAWR!!!!!
I too have experienced the "they're not hearing me, but I have an awesome idea" and no one has been able to really help me understand how to get beyond that. I felt helpless I've read your points, Jeff, which are valid and useful. To me, they are an excellent portion of the skills needed to affect change.
But it wasn't until I took the Personal Mastery class from Klemmer and went through one of their exercises and had the same "they're not hearing me, but I know the answer". In that exercise, I realized how much I played the victim instead of getting out of my own way. In fact, my pitches did not fall on deaf ears. After many attempts to convince "The group" and feeling as though I failed, I gave up, walked away and let the group die it's natural death as I knew they would self implode. Die you selfish people! Rawr! I know the answer but you won't bother to get out of your own heads to listen to me. ME! I know! I'm RIGHT! (hello me as the victim)
Once I gave up (about half way through) and stopped trying to convince others, I had a few people come to me and offer suggestions or ask me questions about my ideas. But, by that point I had focused SO much upon the few hard and fast folks that said, "NO! It Won't Work." and dismissed me (wait, not me rather my idea) and I played victim to the way they treated me, that I totally missed out on the gift that the curious few offered me.
If I had chosen to be vulnerable and drop my defenses, the victim mindset and considered that I had just started a revolution, what more could I have done to help overturn the negative mindset to a positive one?
HOLY SHIT! Do you see the power in this discovery? The power to bring about
Or, what other solutions could I have come up with (in or out of the rules/processes) to help the rest of the group succeed inspite of themselves?
I won't ever know because I just got madder and madder, more convinced I was right and the rest of the group was wrong. Sad isn't it?
But! There's hope. Because this was a learning opportunity. I will know how to handle future situations. I may not always handle them perfectly, but I do know some of the clues that indicate a victim mindset. And, I do have many questions I can ask as I've offered to you above.
My dear readers, I'd love to know how this helped you. Or, to know your experiences using some of these questions and choosing to behave or "show-up" differently.
Last, but definitely not least, Jeff what are your thoughts on my reply?