
As I learned in 6 sigma, try the technique known as the "5 why's" to dig into and uncover the source, or root cause, of the issue:
THE 5 WHY'S
- Why don't I want to make a muslin to see if this will fit?
I won't wear that style dress except as a costume. - Why is that a good reason?
I feel like it's a waste of fabric if I know before making it that I will rarely wear it. Yeah, that coming from the woman who loves costumes. But why make something that will sit in your closet and only get worn once in a while. I have plenty of Bellydance and other costumes gathering dust now. - Why don't you want to make the dress?
Because it won't look good on me. It'll look frumpy. The curve between my bust & hip will look straight & boxy (huh, that's the style. You do recall that's 1920's right self? ... yeah but... I don't want to look like a big pillow case!) - Why don't you want to make the dress?
It's not my style. It doesn't align with the rest of the way I choose to dress myself. - Why don't you want to make the dress?
Why spend all that time making something that I won't feel good in? All those feelings aren't going to go away just because I make the dang thing. Besides, there are so many work out clothes I'd really, really love to spend my time on because I'll get tons of use out of them. I already am with the one's I've made. - Why don't you want to make the dress? (one more for good measure)
Because it uses 5-6 yards of fabric and that's not even cutting it on the bias. That's a LOT of fabric!!
ABOUT THE PROCESS
You notice that when you allow a neutral emotionally disconnected questioning party (I've played that role myself in the corporate world so I know how to slip into it) to repeat the question "Why?", then the person who does have the emotional attachment becomes free to allow their feelings to bubble up to the surface. Many times we shove those feelings down, down, down because we "should" for one reason or another - societal pressure, self pressure, made up ideas of how we "should" act.
Often, you or the person answering may find themself angry at continuing to be asked why. So it is good to prepare for the intent that this is a digging exercise and provide ground rules or guidelines.
- The question will be repeated at least 5 times. An answer must be given each time.
- Even when they feel they've exhausted all possibilities, sit with the question "why" and say the first thing that comes to mind. First thought, best thought.
- Let go of the previous answer and allow for a new reason even if very similar.
- Time the exercise to 5 min or less. Any more than 1-2 min and you're grasping at straws or emotionally wiping someone out.
MY RESOLUTION
So my dear friends, it is with a heavy, yet resolved heart that I consciously choose to focus on making clothing that:
- Is my style - fitted at the waist.
- Allows me to easily mix & match in my closet
- Aligns with my goal of using up fabric from my stash
I may return to costumes in the near future, I may return to this very dress. But this 5 Why's exercise reveals to me that I hold more resistance to making than I consciously thought. This is a great discovery. Difficult, yes as I feel I am letting you down by not following through. But it would be a greater let down to continue on a project that doesn't align with my goals and highest dreams/desires. It is important to realign with your goals.
However, do not discount the research (such as what I studied about 1920's fashion) which precluded this decision. I've learned many times that information, while not used immediately, is often applied in so many other ways that it's value is priceless. This, my friends, is part of my path toward mastery. It's my path in being honest with myself and holding true to my guiding light.
How are you holding true to your guiding light?