The concept of pleasure sometimes scares me. Circumstances depending, we can so easily tip the scales and fall into severe imbalance be it us over indulging or be it someone abusing or over taking to the point of harm. There's a storm of emotions around this concept where I've been the giver and the taker. I'm not enough. I'm too much. Guilt. Fear. Shame. As I think about it, I've let this theme rule my life for far too long. It's shown up in many facets of my life. I over do. I don't do enough. I let others cross boundaries. I cross boundaries. Then, I feel ashamed, afraid, and guilty about it all.
The sentence, "Frugality and Morality have become inextricably linked in our minds. Women's bodies, like mother earth, are designed to be a source of abundant pleasure," brings so many different feelings & questions to mind. Restricting abundance does not make me better or good. It means I am frugal, am acting out of fear, or am cutting off my divine birthright of abundance. If my body is to be abundant pleasure, how do I remain open and a source of abundance protect from those who would use, abuse to serve only them self, then throw me away like I don't matter? Dammit, I deserve pleasure. I deserve abundance. I'm not worth it. I can't have it. I always lose it. I waste it. I hoard it. I can't use it, it is dedicated to some other purpose. In order to be accepted, I must spend less. Do less. Be less. In order to be accepted, I must spend more. Do more. Be more.
And then, there's Dr. Northrup's description of Heaven on Earth. The cycle of life. That what we do feeds the next in the food chain. The scents. The sights. The feelings from simply enjoying. Oh.... sigh. Everything is going to be alright. Why that let's it all go and brings a sense of peace I'm not sure. It just feels aligned to divine source.
What book is rocking your world right now?