As the seasons change from the full harvest of summer into the dying, cooling autumn, do you find that there are likewise seasons occurring in your life as well? I most definitely do. Many of us may feel change this time of year due to our childhood school year starting each autumn. Why, then, do we hold true to this tradition even though we are not an agriculturally dominated society? Interesting isn't it?
The need for change bulldozed a road down the center of my mind.
-- Maya Angelou
- It starts with accepting that change is inevitable. I've tried to fight changes before and I end up as the unhappy miserable one while others move on and find happiness.
- Then, usually through talking with a trusted confidant, I acknowledge the clues of change that I'm seeing in my life often asking myself or my friend, "Isn't that strange?" or "Have you experienced this?". Since I'm an empathic intuitive, clues often come to me clairsentiently. I feel myself or others resisting. Heard the phrase, "hit the wall" or "swimming upstream"? Those are a couple ways that resistance presents itself. Sometimes resistance is a clue to stay and change, othertimes, you need to know when to take your bow and leave.
- Next, if I can get myself out of my own hole of self-doubt (yes friends who think I only live my life with rose colored glasses, I struggle just like everyone else), I begin to listen to my self talk. Is it good? Is my critic being excruciatingly harsh? I have to catch myself in the act, then turn the tables on the phrase I hear. If I hear "No." I start asking myself "Why not?" If I hear, "I can't do that." I start thinking about things I can do so that it builds my confidence back up, gently softens the critic, and over time returns me to my natural, buoyant, positive self.
- Once I believe in myself again, I re-evaluate my goals, dreams, and current state of living. Do I like myself? Do I like what I'm doing? Is what I'm doing helping me live my best possible life? I make lists. I use Unstuck. I observe and follow the people I see growing & embracing change and read their blogs.
- Then, I set new goals (I don't get fancy, just another list works for me) and take action. I used to think the only way to make a change was both feet first, right into the deep end. All or nothing. That however, often left me bereft, and frantic because I changed too quickly and felt unstable and insecure. I love change and love to take some risks. But, I've learned that it's wise to make a calculated risk (this can be done quickly, think napkin engineering right McCauley?). Or, sometimes, just rolling up your sleeves, trying, and taking tiny, baby steps every day can actually produce quite large results. Even one small thing shows the universe you are committed.
It's really easy to get stuck, to resist, and to be afraid of change. Trust me, I've lived in that zipcode too many times.
It all starts by making friends with change.